Cancer is one of the most difficult times in life. And not only for the patient, but also for their loved ones. Support is very important for a successful course of treatment and recovery.
In order to support another, you need to deal with your own emotions. And also with your fears. Bear in mind that nowadays medicine is at such a level that a large percentage of men are cured of their illness. Some patients completely, others can lead a good life for many years. Therefore, do not automatically fall into skepticism and a feeling of hopelessness.
Will “just listening” help? If the person in question wants it, then definitely. Even though the person may be confiding in you about something very distressing, be it their health, their financial situation or their children, let them express their feelings. Don’t judge, definitely don’t aggrandize the situation, and just listen. Patients usually go through a state of denial, anger, sadness and coming to terms with the diagnosis.
Do not try to advise and instruct at all costs. You can offer physical and practical help, from looking after the children, to arranging transport to the doctor, to running errands. You can be mentally supportive and understanding by, for example, not involving or burdening a patient who has chosen to trust doctors and treatment with other alternative approaches. These, in our efforts to be helpful, are often not even properly vetted, and so we only introduce doubt into the other person’s decision.
Your presence, concern and time is the best help you can give to a person with cancer. Accompany him/her to the doctor, take an interest in the course of treatment, ask questions of the doctors, visit him/her, and above all, try to distract him/her from negative thoughts. But even in this case, as they say, “do not push the envelope”. He’s still the same person he was before the illness. That’s something to keep in mind. So if he wants to be alone sometimes, respect that wish too. But certainly don’t stop telling and letting them know you care about them.
Although not everyone in the family may agree on how to properly deal with your loved one’s illness, always think of him or her first and adapt. Arguments within the family will definitely not improve the situation for anyone. Always keep in mind that the primary thing is to make the environment as comfortable as possible for the patient, and try to find compromises so that the atmosphere at home is not unpleasant.
It is also important to think about your health. Try to get enough rest and sleep, eat healthily and move around so that you still have enough strength to support your loved one. If you are still in discomfort, you will hardly be able to pass on the energy.
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